Tuesday, June 24, 2003
This was one of those "spam" emails from a friend...I especially liked it and thought to immortalize it on my blog. Numbers 1-30 are the original...from 31 on - are my creations...
SAYINGS OF ZEN
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are a windshield.
16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.
26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
END SPAM - BEGIN CREATION
31. We walk around with shoes to keep our feet clean, but so many of us who do wear shoes have smellier feet when wearing shoes than when barefoot.
32. If you've nothing to say - then somebody else will. If you've something to say, then somebody else will beat you to it.
33. No matter how hard you try - you're bound to roll over the "wet" spot.
34. How can all men be created equal, if not all birthday suits were created equal.
35. The best pickup line is NO pickup line.
36. We live in a can society - get all you can, do all you can, put it in the can and sit on the can.
37. why is it Budweiser - if it only makes you bud-dummer.
38. Timing is everything - except when you're out of it.
39. When you don't want anyone to see you - someone will.
40. A true friend is one who will tell you "F_ _ _ ! off" and "I Love You" and mean it all the time.
SAYINGS OF ZEN
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are a windshield.
16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.
26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
END SPAM - BEGIN CREATION
31. We walk around with shoes to keep our feet clean, but so many of us who do wear shoes have smellier feet when wearing shoes than when barefoot.
32. If you've nothing to say - then somebody else will. If you've something to say, then somebody else will beat you to it.
33. No matter how hard you try - you're bound to roll over the "wet" spot.
34. How can all men be created equal, if not all birthday suits were created equal.
35. The best pickup line is NO pickup line.
36. We live in a can society - get all you can, do all you can, put it in the can and sit on the can.
37. why is it Budweiser - if it only makes you bud-dummer.
38. Timing is everything - except when you're out of it.
39. When you don't want anyone to see you - someone will.
40. A true friend is one who will tell you "F_ _ _ ! off" and "I Love You" and mean it all the time.
Saturday, June 21, 2003
I'm looking forward to my 12 day vacation to Moku Honu - Oregon country to be exact... I leave this coming wednesday and I am so excited...it will be a nice time to destress a bit...
I hope to catch up with old friends and cousins i haven't seen in a year...as well as my parents and lil bro.
One of my cousins - whom I am so proud of just sent her update on what's going on in her neck of the woods and I just loved this excerpt from her Sig-line.
Our friends are "Mai Ka Lani Mai"---they are heaven sent. Sometimes,
there are those who come into your life, and you know right away that they
were meant to be there -- to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson,
or help figure out who you are, or who you want to become.
Now, doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy...?
I hope to catch up with old friends and cousins i haven't seen in a year...as well as my parents and lil bro.
One of my cousins - whom I am so proud of just sent her update on what's going on in her neck of the woods and I just loved this excerpt from her Sig-line.
Our friends are "Mai Ka Lani Mai"---they are heaven sent. Sometimes,
there are those who come into your life, and you know right away that they
were meant to be there -- to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson,
or help figure out who you are, or who you want to become.
Now, doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy...?
Thursday, June 19, 2003
okay two weird thoughts before i drift off to sleep:
1. the uncle Kracker video "Drift Away" is a great cover tribute song - but did you notice that his hair do is very "something about mary"-esque? what kinda gel is he using anyway?
2. The Snapple - Male Strip Club commercial is very disturbing...i dunno is it just me or does the thought of your snapple bottle equipped with it's very own cowprint g-string make you a little less than excited about picking up a bottle????
1. the uncle Kracker video "Drift Away" is a great cover tribute song - but did you notice that his hair do is very "something about mary"-esque? what kinda gel is he using anyway?
2. The Snapple - Male Strip Club commercial is very disturbing...i dunno is it just me or does the thought of your snapple bottle equipped with it's very own cowprint g-string make you a little less than excited about picking up a bottle????
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
Saturday, June 14, 2003
feeling like a fat chic!
okay - so what do you call inviting people to join you for drinks afterwork (these same people actually say yes) and arriving at the "libation place" at the libation hour - and well NOBODY shows up. so a half hour into waiting for these "buddies" to join you - you call them to find out "where the @$%LL are you?" oh we're minutes away - so you wait, wait, wait, and next thing you know another 15-20 mins have gone by...your phone rings and it's not even who you were expecting to call - but it is a salvation some small relief that someone does actually respect you and want your company...so I join them at their table...and guess what - finally the "late ones" arrive and well guess what it starts to rain a little bit and most of the remaining seats are well out in the weather...so ....they say - you know what we're gonna go...big lesson learned about these "buddies."
Nevertheless, it was a delightful evening, i got a shiney new polish done...had two wonderful Butter Apple Martinis along with the Ahi Katsu and Warm Spinach Salad...and the company though unexpected was just peachy...also got to catch-up with a few faces/friends from my past who happen to be Na Hoku Hanohano award winners the multitalented Ernie Cruz, Jr. and Barry Flanagan...that definitely made me feel better.
I'm still writing off those who ditched me....their loss.
okay - so what do you call inviting people to join you for drinks afterwork (these same people actually say yes) and arriving at the "libation place" at the libation hour - and well NOBODY shows up. so a half hour into waiting for these "buddies" to join you - you call them to find out "where the @$%LL are you?" oh we're minutes away - so you wait, wait, wait, and next thing you know another 15-20 mins have gone by...your phone rings and it's not even who you were expecting to call - but it is a salvation some small relief that someone does actually respect you and want your company...so I join them at their table...and guess what - finally the "late ones" arrive and well guess what it starts to rain a little bit and most of the remaining seats are well out in the weather...so ....they say - you know what we're gonna go...big lesson learned about these "buddies."
Nevertheless, it was a delightful evening, i got a shiney new polish done...had two wonderful Butter Apple Martinis along with the Ahi Katsu and Warm Spinach Salad...and the company though unexpected was just peachy...also got to catch-up with a few faces/friends from my past who happen to be Na Hoku Hanohano award winners the multitalented Ernie Cruz, Jr. and Barry Flanagan...that definitely made me feel better.
I'm still writing off those who ditched me....their loss.
Sunday, June 08, 2003
the tea was very interesting - quite a deal for $10 donation. interestingly enough - i got to see an old acquaintance - Edward. Quite a soulful individual - who is indeed a little difficult to figure out...i also got to see Cheryl Bartlett whom I had the pleasure of acting with in Island Skin Songs in 1999. I especially enjoyed her interpretation in dance - of Jewell's "Jupiter".
Saturday, June 07, 2003
yet another PSA: Afternoon Tea in the Harem
event type: fundraiser
cost: $10 (12 and under free)
when: saturday, june 7 4pm - 6pm
where: ward Rafters (3810 Maunaloa Ave - Kaimuki)
what: An afternoon tea with exquisite belly dancing performances, exciting Arabian Nights story telling, tea and refreshments. Among the dancers, singers and storytellers donating their time and talent are Willow Chang, Glo Ayson, Amber, Maze', Cheryl Bartlett and Jeff Gere.
event type: fundraiser
cost: $10 (12 and under free)
when: saturday, june 7 4pm - 6pm
where: ward Rafters (3810 Maunaloa Ave - Kaimuki)
what: An afternoon tea with exquisite belly dancing performances, exciting Arabian Nights story telling, tea and refreshments. Among the dancers, singers and storytellers donating their time and talent are Willow Chang, Glo Ayson, Amber, Maze', Cheryl Bartlett and Jeff Gere.
Friday, May 30, 2003
Saturday, May 24, 2003
what do you do with yourself when it's a long weekend and it appears that most of it will be spent ALONE?...not one human being reaching out to you all day long for three days in a row...that is probably my plight all weekend as K. is off helping to build a friend's home in portlock this weekend- he left before 6am this morning and probably won't be back till after 6 or 7 tonite...
so you make yourself busy -to a feverish pace - consumed in things "foado" as Louis would say.
or you climb into a little hole and vegitate on the boob tube planning that DVD marathon of who knows what
or you go shopping so at least then you can pretend that people WANT to talk to you when the sales people ask - "can I get a room started for you to try that on?"
or do you actually do something more physical like swim across the street at the beach, or hunt for shells....
or do you complete a craft project (like my mosaics, bead watch, scrapbooking, album organizing, card making)
or is it curling up with that magazine or book that you've been meaning to read from cover to cover.
hmmm. perhaps it is all of the above...cause the only time that time seems to fly is when you are too busy, too distracted about the time to even give it a second thought that you are indeed ALONE.
so you make yourself busy -to a feverish pace - consumed in things "foado" as Louis would say.
or you climb into a little hole and vegitate on the boob tube planning that DVD marathon of who knows what
or you go shopping so at least then you can pretend that people WANT to talk to you when the sales people ask - "can I get a room started for you to try that on?"
or do you actually do something more physical like swim across the street at the beach, or hunt for shells....
or do you complete a craft project (like my mosaics, bead watch, scrapbooking, album organizing, card making)
or is it curling up with that magazine or book that you've been meaning to read from cover to cover.
hmmm. perhaps it is all of the above...cause the only time that time seems to fly is when you are too busy, too distracted about the time to even give it a second thought that you are indeed ALONE.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
it feels like time for a quizilla to brighten things up here.
schizotypal
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
is this true???
schizotypal
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
is this true???
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Saturday, May 03, 2003
Friday, May 02, 2003
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